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A Lesson in Trust

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After my husband's diagnosis of Alzheimers, my time for quiet prayer was greatly diminished. Even if I went to my room and sat in what I call my "prayer chair," my mind was on every sound emanating from the rest of the house.

A few months ago I felt very much at the end of my rope. It's a frightening thing to see the man who was your strength crumble before your eyes. I saw my life diminishing day by day. Suddenly the phone rang. One of our daughters called and offered to sit with Dad while I had some time to myself. I drove to a nearby park where there are quiet pathways and began walking.

I had my rosary in my pocket and began praying the Luminous Mysteries. When I got to the "Wedding Feast at Cana," I began putting myself in the scene. Mary approached Jesus and spoke of the host's need for more wine; "And Jesus said to her, 'Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come'" (Jn 2:4).

If I had been in Mary's shoes, I would have turned away from my son a bit disappointed and convinced there would be no help forthcoming.

Instead, "His mother said to the servers. 'Do whatever He tells you'" (Jn 2:5). She trusted. She trusted in Him completely, in His love for her and the mercy He would show to her concerns. "What a lesson for me, God," I whispered.

Mary told the servants to "Do whatever He tells you." I thought, "Is that what you are telling me as well, Mary?"

No, I don't have much time for myself, but, like the servants, I can "Do what Jesus tells me." Certainly taking whatever time I do have and reading scripture, offering up the daily sacrifices, praying as I do necessary chores, thanking God for all the many blessings of the day (and there are many), trusting God to uphold me when my strength fails, these are things I can do and I can trust God for the rest.

This is like filling my jug with water — water that Jesus can then turn into wine.

I continued my walk and my rosary and came home refreshed and renewed. I know my daughter to be a prayerful person, and I'm sure God spoke to her heart that day and urged her to call and offer me respite. She acted on that nudge, and her water had been turned into wine for me.

Later, after giving my husband a shower, as I was drying him and helping him dress. He looked at me with the sweetest smile on his face and said, "I love you so very much!" I replied, "I love you too, Honey." It was as though, in that moment, my husband saw God in me, and I in Him. It was a moment of profound grace.

Right now, my husband still knows I am his wife. I know the day will come when he doesn't even recognize me, but Jesus, in His mercy, has let me know that he will always recognize love. I only have to keep filling my jug with water, and trusting Jesus.

"I do not fear anything, although the storm is raging, and frightful bolts strike all around me, and then I feel quite alone. Yet, my heart senses You, and I see all Your Omnipotence which upholds me (Diary, 761).

Ann D'Arcy lives in Northville, Mich.

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obligatus, humilis servus de amor - May 9, 2011

Love and abandon yourself to Jesus Who is always with you and will take charge of all the rest. In everything, God is the Power and Goodness of Fatherhood, the Wisdom and Lovingness of Motherhood, the Joyful Light and Sanctifying Grace which is all Blessed, Humble Love. God the Trinity, the Perfectly Simple Unity, the Great Supreme Goodness of every kind of thing; GOD WHO MAKES YOU TO LOVE; GOD WHO MAKES YOU TO LONG; GOD THE ENDLESS FULFILLING OF ALL YOUR TRUE DESIRES. For where the soul is highest, noblest, most honorable, still it is lowest, meekest, and gentlest.

Jesus: "To my intimate friends I give My Cross."

With Jesus' Self-submitting Will, your cross is a tremendous grace and a means for your transformation in Christ which would bring you intimately closer to Him. Thank God for this great blessing of serving Him with your sweet, tender loving care of your beloved husband, for everything we do to others we do to Jesus.

It is our part to love our God in whom we move and have our being, reverently thanking and praising Him for His Creative Loving Action in the inmost interior of our souls as we serve others, confidently praying to our Most Sweet Jesus and our Most Holy Mother for their Guidance and Strength of Spirit and Merciful Love, and to our Lord the Holy Spirit for Divine Help and Sanctifying Grace. For in these is your holy interior life: nature, Mercy and Grace, of which you have sweetness, tenderness, patience, compassion, sympathetic listening, perfect understanding of your significant others and a wholly attentive, wholly adoring deeper listening with your trusting heart for our Father's Directive and Divine Will, which is His Endless, Merciful Love that draws you deeper in the Hidden Silence of the Three in One God in the inmost interior of your soul.

From my experience taking care of my parents, do not take care of your husband alone with out the help of all the inhabitants of heaven whose joy is to help us when asked with unshakeable confidence on our part, in imitation of our Most Holy Mother in Cana. Jesus is always with you and will never abandon you alone in your way of the cross to our Father, through Jesus and Mary and in the Holy Spirit. Especially rely on Jesus and our Mother praying to Them for everything and visit Jesus often in the Blessed Sacrament asking for His Strength for you to carry out our Father's Will in fulfilling God's gratuitous gift of your vocation and mission of married, selfging love which will be the source of happiness that comes from above when viewed as a prism through which opportunities for holiness and joy splash out in countless beautiful and varied ways.

Love God with all your heart in your beloved husband as you prepare him and yourself for your eternal destiny in heaven.

Willingly offer your husband's and your suffering to God for the Glory of God and the salvation of souls. God uses our suffering to earn graces for others.

When you love your beloved husband in a way directed toward God, you love your husband with a view to God and without dissociating yourself from your infinite purpose. This is not simply in a love that you can measure or monitor, but in a love that places you in the service of the ever greater God and for the glorification of God, a liberating love that you offer up like an act of worship so that God might perfect it. You do not just love with your sight directed at another human being, and your love may not just be fruitful in your own sense of it; you entrust your love to God handing over yourself and your beloved husband to Him so that God can draw both of you to Himself and let your joyful offering be efficacious from heaven. Your pure love might just as well be called a heartfelt prayer as called love; for God accepts all genuine love like a prayer in order to use it exactly where He needs it. He can make do just as well with your holy love for your beloved husband or a faithful believer's steadfast love of God as He can with an express loving sacrifice or prayer. God takes your love for your beloved husband to Himself, sanctifies it completely, and gives it back sanctified to the world, to the Church, and to men in order to lead them back to God.

Pray for help from our loving family of angels and saints in heaven and contemplate this comforting words from our dearest Saint Therese and Saint Teresa:

Saint Therese of Lisieux: "Let us go forward in Peace, our eyes upon Heaven, the only one goal of all our labors."

Saint Theresa of Avila: "Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass away. God never changes. Patience obtains all things. He who has God lacks for nothing. God ALONE suffices."

You and your beloved husband will always be in my prayers.

May you rest in God's grace here, now and always.

God bless your loving hearts, and God speed!

maryS - May 10, 2011

Trusting HIM is one that holds,it gives us strength, not to fear of anything because HE is there for us.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

Scott - May 11, 2011

You have warmed my heart--Thank you!

STICA - May 12, 2011

Courage sister.No matter how bad the storm is,Jesus can say one word and it will be calm.TRUST HIM.20 yrs ago at the age of 35,I had to care for my husbanding who was dying of AIDS.I prayed for more love in me and I saw God's hand in our lives.then. His last 3 days were a nightmare as he couldn't say a word thogh he kept opening his mouth to speak.May the LORD CONTINUE TO GIVE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY THE STRENGTH YOU ALL NEED

kauchi - Apr 2, 2012

thank you for sharing this.... Praise the Lord

Mary - Jul 7, 2015

So beautiful, Ann. God bless you abundantly with strength and peace. Keeping you and your family in prayer.

David - Jul 13, 2015

This came at such a perfect time. We have been takingcare of Mom since Dads passingfrom cancer three years ago. I thought at the time that was the hardest thing I would ever have to go through. We were able to keep him at home and he died while I was holding him. Since then Mom has been slowly but steadily declining. It can be such a demanding time with Dr appointments hospitalizations several broken Jones. And her mental decline. The other day as I helped her to bed for a nap...she looked at me intently with her beautiful clear sky blue eyes and told me how much she loved me and how thankful she is that I am her son. I cried and told her that I am the fortunate one to have her as my Mom. This has helped me realize how absolutely blessed I am to help my parents through these times. Thank you Lord an help me always remember what a gift this is