Christian, Love Thyself

By Chris Sparks

Are Christians called to self-love?

The knee-jerk reaction is to say no. But wait a minute. Look at the Golden Rule: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mk 12:31).

If you don’t love yourself, then you can’t obey that rule!

Christian morality often calls on us to live and obey apparently conflicting moral laws. For example, we are called to live with the same sort of generous love as Jesus, holding nothing back, giving ourselves to the last drop. I’ve heard it said that when Christ’s side was pierced and blood and water flowed from His Heart, it was a sign that He’d given pretty much every last drop of blood in the course of His Passion. This sort of watery emission only happened when someone was pretty well drained dry.

{shopmercy-ad}

Jesus gave Himself to the last drop. Surely we Christians are to do the same?

And at the same time, we are told:

Life and physical health are precious gifts entrusted to us by God. We must take reasonable care of them, taking into account the needs of others and the common good. … The virtue of temperance disposes us to avoid every kind of excess: the abuse of food, alcohol, tobacco, or medicine. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2288, 2290)

How does that work? It seems like there’s nothing temperate about the love of the Father for the Son, or the Son for the Father, or of God for the world. If God is the source and summit of all Goodness, then how do we reconcile these two commands?

Simply that if our intemperance damages our bodies, minds, or virtue, then we can’t give everything. If we don’t love ourselves, we won’t tend to ourselves. We won’t exercise, won’t get enough sleep, won’t eat right, won’t take care of our finances, our basic needs, and so on. Wise stewardship, on the other hand, is healthy and virtuous self love. Wise stewardship makes the most of the gifts given. A person who is exercising the cardinal virtues (prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude) as well as the theological virtues (faith, hope, and love) is in a good position to give God everything because they will have everything to give.

Look at St. Faustina. She listened to her doctors. When she was ill, she sought medical care. Further, she knew the value of interior mortifications, of obedience, even when that obedience prevented her from fasting. For example, she writes:

Today, I received some oranges. When the sister had left, I thought to myself, “Should I eat the oranges instead of doing penance and mortifying myself during Holy Lent? After all, I am feeling a bit better.” Then I heard a voice in my soul: "My daughter, you please Me more by eating the oranges out of obedience and love of Me than by fasting and mortifying yourself of your own will. A soul that loves Me very much must, ought to live by My will. I know your heart, and I know that it will not be satisfied by anything but My love alone." (Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, 1023; see also 364-365)

This reminds me of St. John Vianney (1786-1859), the wonderworking Cure d’Ars, who toward the end of his life said that his early fasts and physical mortifications were excessive, and he regretted some of them. The fundamental law of the Christian is self-giving love, not physical suffering. When we experience some of the unavoidable physical suffering of this life, we can make that suffering a tremendous source of grace by prayerfully offering it to the Father in union with Christ’s sacrifice at Calvary through the Mass. But we are supposed to live guided by both faith and reason, by both Christian spirituality and medical science. We are ordinarily supposed to seek relief from physical pain, healing of our wounds, and curing of our illnesses, using the gifts God has given us both by prayer and by medicine.

We are meant to love ourselves virtuously and therefore be good stewards of ourselves, of our bodies and minds, of our time, talent, and treasure. We are meant to be prudent, just, temperate, and have fortitude, as well as have faith, hope, and love. We are to take both medicine and prayer, not simply one or the other.

So let us love ourselves so that we may love God and neighbor generously, wisely, virtuously. Let us practice both sets of virtues, the natural and the supernatural. Let us maximize what we can give to God by being prudent stewards of ourselves, of our time, talent, and treasure. If we are called to extraordinary acts of generosity, after careful discernment with our confessor or spiritual director as well as the appropriate secular experts (lawyer, financial adviser, doctor, etc.), then so be it. But the ordinary Christian life is one of balance, one of prudent stewardship making possible our generous love of God and neighbor.

Please pray for me, that I may practice what I preach. I’ll pray for you.

Chris Sparks serves as senior book editor for the Marian Fathers. He is the author of the Marian Press book How Can You Still Be Catholic? 50 Answers to a Good Question.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash.

LAMDVD

You might also like...

If all Marian devotion culminates in imitation of Mary, says Br. Jacob, MIC, then we could also say that all imitation of Mary culminates in imitating her standing at the foot of the Cross.

The Resurrection reveals that Jesus has the power to crush all the stones of our imperfections, taking away all that blinds us to His presence in our daily lives. He desires, in Holy Communion, to come and remove every hard stone from your heart.

By Fr. Thaddaeus Lancton, MIC

A gaze of the heart. Examining the depth of one’s heart.

Jesus said, "Today bring to Me ALL MANKIND, ESPECIALLY ALL SINNERS, and immerse them in the ocean of My mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me."