The following is an excerpt from the Marian Press book 52 Weeks with St. Faustina by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle:
“Jesus, You know how weak and little I am, and so from today on, I am entering Your novitiate in a very special way. I continue to be a novice, but Your novice, Jesus, and You will be my Master to the last day.” — Diary, 228
This week’s spiritual exercise delves into some special gifts, including Sr. Faustina’s experience of Jesus’ Passion, receiving the stigmata, and her charism for intercessory prayer. We meet Sr. Faustina’s sister Wanda, learn of Sr. Faustina’s additional doubt, darkness, and challenge, and more! Let’s see what unfolds.
Earlier, we discussed Sr. Faustina’s preparations for perpetual vows. Jesus asked her to meditate upon His Passion and gave her a powerful prayer that, when said with a contrite, faithful heart, would bring about the grace of conversion. Sister Faustina continued to pray ardently for sinners and added that formidable prayer to her spiritual arsenal.
Later on, during a Holy Hour on Shrove Tuesday (the day before Ash Wednesday), Jesus allowed Sr. Faustina to see how horribly He had been scourged, and even to experience the intensity of His suffering. “Oh, such an inconceivable agony!” she recalled. “How terribly Jesus suffered during the scourging!” Sister Faustina described the scourging in gory detail, as well as warning sinners about that for which they will have to answer. “O poor sinners, on the day of judgment, how will you face the Jesus whom you are now torturing so cruelly? His blood flowed to the ground,” she wrote. “In some places His flesh started to fall off. I saw a few bare bones on His back.” She continued, “The meek Jesus moaned softly and sighed” (Diary, 188). Sister Faustina was closely united in prayer with her suffering Jesus. She continued to offer her prayers, sufferings, and penances for sinners in the world, but also for “transgressions committed in [her] house” (Diary, 190).
A Heroic Intercessor
Sister Faustina was a heroic intercessor for the girls who were in her charge. As mentioned earlier, part of her congregation’s apostolate was the rehabilitation of wayward women and girls in need of moral conversion. With permission from Jesus and her superiors, she took upon herself certain torments experienced by the girls. Once, she took upon herself the terrible temptation of suicide. Sister Faustina keenly felt it in the depth of her heart. She recalled, “For seven days I suffered; and after seven days Jesus granted her the grace which was being asked, and then my suffering also ceased.” She said the suffering was intense (Diary, 192).
Once, Sr. Faustina’s younger sister Wanda visited the convent. It wouldn’t take long for “big sis” to realize that Wanda was depressed. When she revealed her plans for her future, Sr. Faustina was “horror-stricken.” She could not believe her ears. “How was such a thing possible?” she wondered. “A beautiful little soul before the Lord, and yet, great darkness had come over her.” Wanda was unable to help herself. Sister Faustina was certain that God had entrusted her sister to her, allowing Sr. Faustina to aid Wanda with prayer and penance. She happily complied; however, it cost her much. “[H]ow many sacrifices this soul cost me is known only to God.” She elaborated, “For no other soul did I bring so many sacrifices and sufferings and prayers before the throne of God as I did for her soul. I felt that I had forced God to grant her grace.” Sister Faustina said it was “truly a miracle.” She witnessed intercessory prayer in action. “Now I can see how much power intercessory prayer has before God” (Diary, 202). We need to keep this fact in the forefront of our minds.
Taking Part in the Passion of Jesus
During this particular Lenten season, Sr. Faustina often experienced the Passion of Jesus in her own body. “I experience deeply in my heart all that Jesus suffered, although no exterior sign betrays these sufferings of mine,” she recorded in her Diary (203). She only disclosed the matter of the invisible stigmata to her confessor. Sister Faustina continued to meditate deeply on Jesus’ Passion. At the Mass of the Resurrection, she saw Jesus in the midst of a great light coming towards her. He lifted His hand to give a blessing, saying, “Peace be to you, My children.” Sister Faustina observed the wounds in His hands, feet, and side. They were “indelible and shining.” Her soul “drowned itself in Him” when Jesus looked at her with kindness and love. “You have taken a great part in My Passion; therefore I now give you a great share in My joy and glory,” Jesus said. The Mass seemed to speed by as a “wondrous recollection” filled Sr. Faustina’s soul (Diary, 205). This holy recollection would last throughout the Easter Season.
Doubt and Darkness Visit Again
The young mystic continued praying for many souls, and offered all of her sacrifices and sufferings to God. Though she sought no consolation from creatures, instead going straight to God for help, at times it would seem that God was not listening. However, Sr. Faustina persevered. “I will not grow weary, because it is on You that I am leaning — O You, my Strength!” (Diary, 209).
Still, though Jesus never left her side, Sr. Faustina often felt alone. The burden of her mission weighed on her, and she still did not have an established priest serving as her spiritual director who could guide her. Jesus was very quiet. Darkness crept back to envelop her soul. Sister Faustina feared she was falling prey to illusions. She went to Confession seeking help or relief, but she could not find peace there. “The confessor left me with even more doubts than I had before.” He told her, “I cannot discern what power is at work in you, Sister, perhaps it is God and perhaps it is the evil spirit.” The young nun exited the confessional pondering those alarming words and sinking into a deeper darkness. Fear poured in. “Jesus, what am I to do?” she asked. “When Jesus approached me with kindness,” she recalled, “I was frightened.” She couldn’t help but wonder: Was He “really Jesus?” She added, “What torture! I cannot describe it” (Diary, 211). This was a great trial for Sr. Faustina. When she went back to Confession, the priest dropped an unexpected bomb. “I do not understand you, Sister. It would be better if you did not come to me for confession,” which sent her into a tailspin. “O my God! ... I have to do such violence to myself before I say anything about my spiritual life, and here I am getting this answer: ‘Sister, I do not understand you!’” (Diary, 212). Immediately upon leaving the confessional, Sr. Faustina was flooded with torments and oppression. It was yet another blow and lesson in humility. She needed to persevere in prayer and take one step of faith at a time. She fled to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and begged, “Jesus, save me; You see how weak I am!” (Diary, 213). We might pause and ponder what we would have done in her situation.
Jesus Encourages Sr. Faustina Before Her Retreat
Jesus spoke to Sr. Faustina: “I will give you help during the retreat before the vows” (Diary, 213). Sister Faustina felt very encouraged, but still experienced times of doubt. She continually begged God to enlighten the priest who would hear her Confession at the retreat before her perpetual vows. She was often misunderstood. She wanted a simple “yes” or “no.” After that, she would be “all set at peace once and for all” (Diary, 213), or so she thought. Still, she worried whether or not someone would be willing to listen to what was bubbling over in her heart and soul. Finally, Sr. Faustina decided to stop worrying and instead put her trust firmly in the Lord. Jesus’ words (“I will give you help during the retreat”) rang in her ears. She would trust Him.
Sister Faustina went straight to the chapel to thank Jesus for the countless graces He had bestowed upon her over the past five months of her probation. “My heart was deeply touched at the thought of so many graces and so much care on the part of the superiors,” she reflected (Diary, 214). The following day, she would accompany two fellow probationers to St. Joseph’s in Lagiewniki for their retreat.
Something to Ponder
Sister Faustina sets us an example of patience and perseverance in prayer, even when doubt and darkness come to visit. She expresses the love in her heart for Jesus in His Passion. She offers the pain she experiences for the redemption of souls. When she feared she was falling prey to illusions, she prayed and trusted God. Take time this week to ponder your trust in God. Do you trust Him no matter what? What can you do to surrender your heart fully to His holy will for you?
A Merciful Action
Pray and ponder ways to carry out meaningful works of mercy this week. Be attentive to opportunities as they unfold. Simple smiles and kind words can help someone. Strive to spread God’s love through your smiles and kind words, even if you are tired or suffering in some way. God will grant the graces for the asking! No doubt, wherever you are, there is a great need for love and mercy. Do your very best to gift it to others. Keep in mind Sr. Faustina’s powerful intercessory prayer for her sister Wanda and the girls, and pray about opportunities to engage in intercessory prayer for others.
A PRAYER OF MERCY FOR THIS WEEK
(To be prayed each day this week.)
Dear Merciful Jesus, You suffered tremendously for my soul. During the scourging, You were torn apart for my sins. I am sorry. I love You. Help me to be a better Catholic, generous with my intercessory prayers and love for You and for others. Mother Mary, help me. Saint Faustina, please pray for me. Jesus, I trust in You! Amen
You can order 52 Weeks with St. Faustina by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle here:
{shopmercy-ad}
