Priesthood is not the goal of formation but rather just another level. In a way, formation has just begun! I am excited to see where the Lord will lead me and I hope and pray that He will keep me humble enough to always recognize that He is the one at work, not I.
By Deacon Alexander Pumphrey, MIC
Editor's note: Deacon Alexander Pumphrey, MIC, 32, is assigned to the Divine Mercy Apostolate in London, England. Born in Cleveland, Ohio, and a Catholic convert, he was ordained to the diaconate in February, and will be ordained to the priesthood on August 16 at the National Shrine of The Divine Mercy. Here he shares his reflections on a pending vocational milestone.
As the date of my priestly ordination creeps ever closer, everyone I meet (well, almost everyone) asks me if I’m ready for my “big day” and they’re usually quite startled when I tell them, “No.” After all, I’ve been studying and preparing and looking forward to this day for almost eight years.
How on earth can I not be ready for it?
Ordination promises
Looking at the various promises that I will make to the bishop on the day of my ordination, I can safely say that I am not ready. Praying without ceasing? Discharging my duties without fail? Complete and total obedience to the bishop, my superiors and whoever in the future will follow them? Uniting more closely to Christ each and every day?
There is no possible way that I am ready to undertake all of these duties, promises and, dare I say, burdens.
But over these past eight years of formation, I’ve learned a thing or two. I know that I can’t do any of these things, let alone all of them, on my own. But that same formation program (or programme, as they spell it here in the UK), has taught me, shown me, that I’m not expected to do it on my own. I can only do it with the help of God’s grace.
I admit that formation has not been easy for me. Sure, there have been times of joy and happiness and my closest and dearest friends are my fellow Marians who have been in formation with me, but for the most part, I’ve really struggled during formation.
I’ve struggled with school and with moving around, on average, once every year. I’ve struggled with myself, my calling and wondering why, out of everyone on this gigantic and vast earth, the Lord would choose a knucklehead like me. And of course, living with so many other people, there are bound to be personality conflicts as well.
God is calling
At the end of the day, I know that God is calling me to serve Him and His people as a priest and as a member of the Marian Fathers. Even during my struggles in formation, He has sent me glimpses and reminders of this in many ways and various forms, whether that be the deep friendships that I’ve formed, the pride I take in talking about the traditions, heritage, history and spiritualty of the Marians to other religious and the profound devotion I have to the holy men of our Congregation, most especially our holy Father Founder, St. Stanislaus Papczyński.
A priest is tasked with service and with sanctification (both his own and that of those entrusted to him). A mere human is unable to conjure up holiness at the snap of his fingers or produce it through his own sheer willpower. Holiness is not a question of what I do but rather of what I allow God to do in me.
In two weeks, I will become a priest of the Most High God forever. My schooling, human formation, spiritual growth and pastoral experience have all prepared me for this point and yet I’m not ready?
No I’m not…but God will make me ready.
Only the beginning
Priesthood is not the goal of formation but rather just another level. In a way, formation has just begun! I am excited to see where the Lord will lead me and I hope and pray that He will keep me humble enough to always recognize that He is the one at work, not I.
Thank you to everyone for everything, especially our Marian Helpers. It is overwhelming to realize all of the people in my life who have done so many things for me, have loved me, prayed for me, supported me and accompanied me on this journey. In so many ways, you have had more faith in me than I have! And for that and for you, I am so very grateful.
May God bless you now and always!
Due to limited seating at the National Shrine, attendance at the Mass of Ordination on Aug. 16 is by invitation only. However, the 9 a.m. Mass will be livestreamed here.
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